Inner De-conditioning Affects Interior Design

Did you know that your…

Inner de-conditioning affects interior design?…

People are carrying around a lot of ideas that do not serve their higher self.

I would know because I’m also a person. And as a person, I also know that we can learn how to put this heavy baggage down. But first I also know that we have to admit that we have a problem and that we are uncomfortable in our lives at this moment, which is often difficult to accomplish.

Putting your inner struggles down (especially before embarking on a new design journey) is the key to creating an aligned environment for yourself, and more importantly a truly happy life. In my own life when I’ve given myself the space to ask myself WHY I’m doing what I’m doing, I then promote intentional living for myself. (More on intention here). But in order to put down the things that do not serve us we need to bravely look directly at what beliefs may be holding us back!

I want to go over some simple ways that you can free yourself from the social conditioning (or messages we internalize from outside our own conscience), that all of us experience to varying degrees. And I will also highlight where the conditioning comes from and how this affects all of us on a daily basis.

Growing up all I wanted was to be like everyone else. (How many times have you heard a story starts like this haha?!) In my specific case, I felt as though something was inherently wrong with me because people kept telling me that I was “too sensitive”. And sure here was their evidence… I could cry at the drop of a hat (still do…) or repeat a weird interaction over and over in my head trying to figure out why I “upset” someone when “all I had to go off of…” was a screwed up face they made in reaction to me (still do…). I would ask people for advice on how to help me since how I felt seemed wrong, and all I would get back is it’s “no big deal” and “don’t worry about it”. All I would think is “cool thanks that’s super helpful!” This all got to be a little too heavy for me so by the time I got to be a teenager I was literally so brainwashed that I was taking the Myers Briggs test unconsciously forcing an Extrovert result so that I felt like I could fit in with everyone else around me. It took years and years and still takes work for me to accept myself the way that I am. I’m not super talkative or energetic, outgoing, or “bubbly” all of those descriptors that American society expects out of women, or even worse for me mentally… “successful women”. It’s taken a lot of inner work, sitting with myself (which is actually great for an INTROVERT like myself), feeling my own energy separate from what the world expects of me, to realize what I am. I have great depth, I am intentional, I am purposeful and I have a strong intuition that guides me through life that wouldn’t exist if I was made any other way. These are gifts that not everyone can claim, as are your own unique gifts. We have a responsibility to the world to take care of ourselves and show up the way we were created, bravely.

De-conditioning is often most often discussed regarding a person’s awareness of their conditioned responses to stimuli in regards to their mental health. However, I also believe that this concept is essential in framing a person’s life and what they want out of it, which includes the creation of their environment.

“Conditioning is messages that we have internalized either consciously or unconsciously that originate from outside our innate inner wisdom or conscience.”

- Catherine Rose

You cannot create an environment that supports who you are on the deepest levels if

A: You don’t know who you are on the deepest levels or

B: You are unconsciously pretending to be someone that you aren’t!

By first thinking about how you may be conditioned to think, you can avoid some tough feelings around how you want your home to look or how you would like your life to be. I see my clients so often searching outside of themselves for the answers in their home environment. This sucks because I know how beautifully and uniquely creative each of my clients is. But, this phenomenon makes sense because how often are all of us searching outside of ourselves for the answers to OUR OWN LIVES??!!

When you get clear on what your true desires are no one can stop you from creating the environment (and life) that is authentically right for you! When you realize where you are letting voices outside your deeper self run your entire life you can choose whether or not to stay on the paved path or start creating the life and relationships that you actually want.

By engaging with these thoughts and questioning your own reasoning you can find a clear and true path to what you want out of your life and environment and If you have been on the path of self-discovery and you want to actively engage with your life the following ideas are for you!

BUT… this isn’t easy by any means.

If you aren’t used to self-reflection; critical thinking of your own actions, or for some reason you want to continue to ignore the conditioned messages of the outside world by distancing yourself from your own inner world… I guarantee that your home project (and life) or any other endeavor will be more challenging for you, in almost every way.

Because, how can you reach a goal of alignment within your space or a project when you yourself do not know WHY you are making the decisions you are making?!

So if you are a brave soul and are ready and willing to take a deeper look at how you engage with yourself and your environment and begin creating your life from within to re-condition yourself in alignment with who you really are, here are some tips that are going to help you on your journey!

Let’s do this.

Step #1: Ask yourself who you were before the world told you who you should be.

Who are you when you have no responsibilities to anything or anyone? Who were you as a child? What lit you up? What lights you up now if you didn’t have to explain your worthiness to anyone?

“What did you do as a child that made the hours pass like minutes?” - Carl Jung,

What do people tell you that you are good at with no prompting from you? What do people ask you for help within their own lives…?

If you don’t answer these deeply important questions for yourself, don’t worry the world will answer them for you…

(just kidding, you should definitely worry about the world answering your life’s questions for you!)

Step #2: Forgive yourself.

The Earth isn’t an easy place to exist my friend. If you feel as though you have been living off track and are realizing in some ways that you have been looking for the answers outside yourself you are so not alone. I believe all of us will experience this in some way over and over again on this journey called life. This discord though becomes clear when you are not happy. Your emotions are the key to knowing when you aren’t listening to that deeper voice inside yourself. Listen to your inner conscious, form a trusting relationship with it. Emotions are here to help you, so stop running from them. Running from your feelings will cause you more discord down the line trust me. Stop and take a moment and forgive yourself though, we have all been there and life flows in a spiral, not a straight line. Life will continue to place the same lessons in each of our paths until life teaches us what we need to know. Take a deep breath, you are safe and you are a supremely powerful force, an integral part of the universe.

Step #3: Start wondering why you want what you want, or are doing what you are doing.

I’ve come to this realization. The only people I personally enjoy being around are people that are deeply curious about their deeper selves.

Really. What is motivating you?… Is it money, prestige, status, love, power? Is it anything that you think you NEED in order to be happy? Or is it that little negative voice inside you, or a big negative voice of someone or something outside you looming in your life? Because if any of this rings true you are on the wrong path, guaranteed.

Are you looking to survive or are you going to school or taking that job that doesn’t feel quite right to fit in with expectations others have of you. Are you having another kid because that’s what you think you are supposed to do? Please don’t. We need people who are going to start taking radical responsibility for their actions and lives, people that do the best they can with what they have in alignment with who they are… not what the world falsely expects of them. These expectations aren’t real, and no one is grading the test you keep taking.

If questioning your own motivations triggers you, it’s a sure sign that you are probably out of alignment with yourself.

But if you want a path or a new environment that supports the person you truly are and want to become from the deeper desires within yourself keep going, you got this, and we need you.

Step #4: Look at the situations and people that elicit a strong emotional response within yourself and ask yourself why this is.

Do you have certain friends, coworkers, or family members that really get your goat? Do you question why the same situations keep occurring and wonder what did I do to deserve this? This is a strong key to realizing that you may be projecting your own insecurities onto these people that just really bug you sometimes. Hey no judgment though, I do this all of the time! Try and look at the situation from a birds-eye view. What is it about these people’s actions or personalities that throw you off? Why is that? Is it because something inside you wishes that you were more like that, or that things that seem to come easily to them don’t for you? Or is it because that thing they do that annoys you is something that you judge yourself for subconsciously? Remember…no one can make you a victim, the universe wants you to take a look at something in your own shadow from these interactions! Be honest with yourself.

Step #5: Listen to your inner knowing.

As a sensitive human myself I’ve learned how important it is for me to get some space, even if it’s just some mental space. Honestly, it is this need to listen to my own intuition that attracted me to this career in the first place. I knew I needed a safe environment to listen to my inner voice so I wanted to show the rest of the world how to create that for themselves.

*Read my article on empath environments here if this is interesting to you!

It’s this inner voice that should be the only authority in your life too. Often all of the messages from society, your family, and what your peers are doing get precedence over your soul’s voice. Make it a point to reconnect with who you really are deep down.

If you are looking for some fun ways to engage with your own subconscious check these out!:

-Create a Vision Board

-Write out your perfect day

Step #6: Remember the times that you didn’t listen to your inner knowing, what was driving you?…

Question that motivation intensely.

Do you remember a stark “wake-up call” in your life? Can you remember why you felt so out of control then? Try and look back and identify what was driving you. Often I’ve found for me in these situations, it was other people’s expectations of me or that I was trying to follow a paved path to things like “success” and “security” at the expense of who I really was as a person.

Maybe living through what’s going on right now in the world (my admiration goes out to you my friend) you may be waking up to some realities in your own life. Many people are re-evaluating their values now. Please ask yourself what still works for YOU, what doesn’t… and what never did. It’s your responsibility to understand your values and make your own decisions about your life consciously.

*Now I’m not talking about decisions that you have to make to survive. Trust me I know what that is like to feel pushed up against a wall. It’s more like when you make a decision like, to stay in a job that is terrible for your mental health for example, that you are aware of WHY you are doing it. It’s this exact awareness that creates the tiny bit of mental space that is necessary for you to shift that energy when the time is right and be aware of new opportunities that can eventually help you out of that tight spot.

If this sounds like you right now I see you. I believe in you and you are doing amazing trust me.

I’m talking about the decisions that we all keep making about our lives on autopilot without the light of our awareness. if you aren’t driving the ship who is?

Step #7. Get quiet.

Sometimes when I say “connect with your inner knowing” that can sound a little bit overwhelming especially when you are already feeling disconnected! I totally understand and this is not a time to add more judgments to yourself (see step #2). Be gentle with yourself. Maybe instead you could find a little space to either be alone or just be quiet for a little while or go on a walk by yourself. I’ve found that just this simple space often gives you more grace than you were expecting before you started out. You deserve some peace. There is A LOT going on around us that isn’t ours to take on all of the time.

Step #8: Go into nature

Our world is so disconnected from itself sometimes. But that isn’t the true reality… If you are feeling disconnected yourself try to find anywhere that you can connect back to nature. Do this as much as possible. Witnessing the majesty of the earth does something to your connection to your true self. It shows you that you are a part of the whole picture here, you are not a separate entity alone in the world. We are earth and earth is us.

Step #9:. Expose yourself to new ways of being

Often when we are operating under conditioned responses it can feel as though we are just running a program of our own lives.(hello Matrix…), Repeating the same phrases to ourselves (and others…), waking up at the same time every day, taking the same route to the same job. It can start to feel like perhaps we aren’t even alive in the truest sense of what aliveness even means at all.

Try in some small ways to break up your patterns. If you are introverted and spend a lot of time inside your home and inside your own head, try and reach out to friends and get together in a group.

If you are extroverted and used to distracting yourself with plan after plan, set some time aside to just be with yourself and your inner voice.

If you are interested in personality tests check this out.

These are all a great way to challenge your own patterns, or at least get some awareness around how you are showing up in the world!

Another amazing concept for dealing with your own de-conditioning is Human Design. Human Design and de-conditioning go hand in hand!

If you are interested in learning more about Human Design or your Human Design Chart check out the article here.

Step #10: Ask for help.

It’s also helpful to have an open dialogue with either one or a few people who know you well and that you trust.

I know for me there are triggered responses around boundaries. It’s really helpful for me at the moment to explain how I’m feeling to someone else not directly involved in the situation. Because I feel as though these moments come up a lot in my life, knowing that someone else knows my situation helps me to start to become more aware right when these things happen, instead of just reacting with upset emotions over and over again and feeling like I’m never getting anywhere!

Seeking professional guidance can also be invaluable. Having a neutral party to either bounce ideas off of or reframe tense situations for you is so healing to your psyche. This guided self-awareness can teach you so much more about yourself quicker than it can take just with self-exploration. Human mirrors can serve wonders!

I know the past year + have been really challenging, especially mentally and emotionally, for the entire globe. We all find ourselves acting out of fear and conditioned responses nowadays. I know for me as terrifying and destabilizing as it all is, I can be grateful at least for the space that the pandemic forced on me. I was personally able to disconnect from the paved patterns of my life and start thinking critically about how I actually want to live. I changed my mind on topics like, marriage, children, and work/life balance and these are hard-earned lessons that I will take with me through the rest of my life.

The forced meditation and exposure to real trauma and chaos in the world around me afforded me the realization (that my soul always knew), that each of us as sovereign beings that deserve to create a life that we love, no matter what… because life is way too short for anything else.

Think about your own life. Are you truly happy? What are the obstacles in the way between you and your dream life? Really ask yourself if any of these obstacles are either beliefs that no longer serve you or conditions that either society or any other “authority” expects of you… If so it’s time to look at these for what they are… deeply false ideas that do not serve your best interest as a creative being. Time to live your life from who you are.

Let me know if you guys found this info on de-conditioning helpful. I would also love to hear how you think that this concept affects your own life or any lessons that you have learned in your journey so far!

Thank you so much for reading!